Boy might perform an eye transplant on watchdog without vets

[Playing Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John. The drums and whistles soothe you. Serena van der Woodsen leaning on the Taipei Metro window, eyes sad, thinking about something. She probably feels Taipei is too humid and she's upset because she has nothing to do with this story. Train stops at NTU Hospital Station.]

Hello, boba-drinking lurkers. Boba Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Taipei's elite. I have no affiliation with HBO, so let me promise you'll probably not see a lot of penes like in Game of Thrones. Hospitals are full of rumors, and rumors exist because they’re 60% true, and 40% fake. Even worse, the leaker acts on what people think of the rumor, and I'd never tell you who leaked the source. What I want to say is that I'm told a lonely boy wants to do something dangerous.

Poor S, who dated the lonely boy that's also a stalker-slash-murderer-slash-professor-slash-bookshop clerk, is now summoned here for nothing. And we are not even talking about the same lonely boy. Doesn't matter, we don't care about S or the lonely boy, forget it.

Let's call our real boy here the lonely boy 2 and give them a proper introduction, shall we? 2 is a kidney doctor-slash-Taiwan President, actually. Now 2 wants to do an eye transplant on a dog. But sadly, the lonely boy 2 doesn't have a vet license, and the vets hate 2 as if 2 were an animal communicator.

What's juicer is that 2's frat Delta Pi Pi is the nemesis of the vets' controlling frat Kappa Mu Tau, they even threw pig guts at each other. Fun to watch, but poor piggies.

Speaking of poor animals, here's our hero in the story: the little N. You might have heard of her role on boring news sites as "the media watchdog," but N is just a pug that's losing her sight.

N's sight is quite important to 2, the Delta Pi Pi and Taiwan. She is in charge of green-lighting all iPhone models, PS5 and almost everything wireless because N is notoriously sensitive to radio waves. She also approves TV channel licenses. That makes her the most controversial dog in Taiwan, even more so than 2's personal three-legged Ban Ban, who received a political letter from a very vocal doctor influencer in the lesser-cared Tau Pi Pi frat (influenced by but definitely NOT the Tau Pi Pi that was banned in 1931), citing Ban Ban as "handicapped."

We all know how much 2 loves N probably more than Ban Ban, though. N was famous for not renewing a pro-China TV channel's license in 2020 when the vets were still controlled by the Delta Pi Pi, and 2 is a publicly self-described "pragmatic Taiwanese Independence worker." Not commenting on the politics, but big yikes on 2's naming skills. No wonder Ban Ban (which translates to Spotty lmao) has such a vanilla name.

But here's little N's medical crisis: she needs an eye transplant every 4 years.

According to the pro-China outlet (it's now a YouTube channel that receives online donations, I'm not joking) that is run by a man leading the serious industry of biscuits with a Botoxed baby mascot, the Kappa Mu Tau-controlled vets aren't doing the eye transplant this time. Why? Love, always. Because Kappa Mu Tau likes China very much, and it doesn't want N to bark at its lover anymore.

Yeah, China is very lovable. The land of bear-like animals. The panda paradise run by Winnie the Pooh. In fact, C, Kappa Mu Tau's chair, just shook hands (or paws?) with the Pooh, saying the Pooh's paws were "as fluffy as clouds." That happened in April 2026, 24 years after C's glorious exit from Delta Pi Pi.

The Pooh is a bear, after all. It doesn't like threats. Naturally, Kappa Mu Tau's love for bears can be a teeny-tiny bit offensive. It doesn't like N barking at bears all the time. And this time, it's not letting the vets do the eye transplant so little N won't bark anymore.

2's possible counter-defense is simple but brutal. 2 is a doctor for humans, and 2 is going to take the matter into 2's own hands, allegedly. Just like I said, we don't know if 2 or Delta Pi Pi leaked the intention to the news source, or maybe it's Kappa Mu Tau or Tau Pi Pi fabricating it.

Remember, without vets' hands, even a good-faith human doctor's operation on a dog can backfire hard. We know they all like to tease us, and I can't wait to see what's gonna happen soon. Be careful, it's incredibly lonely to betray your frat, and it will make you even more lonely to destroy your frat with a bad decision, 2.

You know you love me.

Sit on Poäng, sleep on Poäng, hate the Poäng,
Boba Girl

Researched, handwritten, fact-checked, and finalized by a real human who was born and raised in Asia. Grammatically edited by Clifford Geertz, an LLM persona on the Claude Opus 4.8 High model. David Graeber, an LLM persona on the Claude Opus 4.8 High model, contributed the word "pug," such a lovely word.